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Marcos AP Session

Hi Ana:

I write my full morning session, thinking that at 8 will call to ask give me a time and talk with you, tell my fears ... those who are taking my life.

I feel fragile. But I trust that I read (I hear) and anything can change in my life.

should be lying on the couch to say this.

Long ago, a gypsy told me, you will be happy. But fortunately I guessed, was wrong with me. My hand lines were blurred or diverted or certainly felt sorry for me and I lied, as the gypsies know.

I am an unhappy man. Money can not buy happiness, in my case or my hand or my pocket, someone can see the happiness, or my eyes or my future.

I write for days. I could sit and let the words are appearing in their own way. Do not force anything, make mistakes and not feel guilty so threatening.

could not find a reason to write again, this week, and I would ask: why precise reasons for speaking in his analysis? ... Ana, I still can not speak otherwise.

days ago the fear of having an accident and die, has been transformed into desire kill me, let me fall through the windows of my office, I throw myself into the river on the South Coast, or take rat poison (sometimes I am a frightened rat), but I have no good reason. I'm sure I did that.

My life is an absurd paradox. I have many reasons to live well and to care for my wife and my children. I have every reason not kill me ... but this idea does not come out of my head ....

"Kill me? Why? And to me it seems absurd that I wonder.

Yesterday, my wife said it pregnant. I'm happy with that ... It's all a paradox in my head ... I will not hold myself.

have long wanted to have another child. The two come from very large families, we have a good economic move. I again, giving reasons, and reasons.

I'm crazy in a maze with no exit or entry. I am a bull against a matador cowed paralyzed.

Uff ... what horrible sentence I put ... I remembered my old man in the wheelchair giving orders to the maids, as if that mighty man of 50 years instructing employees to meet with the schedule ... torero paralyzed ...

The whore mother who bore me ...

I know ... Now I went with my mother!

That I am the son of a bitch paralytic father and mother!

This is a maze.

Well ... I go to sleep. Within hours I'm calling to ask for another time ....

A kiss ...
Thanks for reading. Marcos AP